A Good Long Look in the Mirror

There comes a time in every girl's life when they you get a glimpse into what you're on your way to becoming. This happened to me just seconds ago. It wasn't the prettiest of sights. That's not to say that my doppelganger wasn't pretty, it's just... well...

I knew she was a writer from the way her hands floated around her keyboard. It looked like she was playing the piano and in this digital age, it's one of the tell tale signs of a writer. If you've never noticed it before, I would suggest that you take a look around the coffee shop the next time you get a chance.

Don't look now. I'm talking here. The second way I knew that I was destined to be this woman eventually was the way that she ate while she worked. As I shoveled coffee cake into my mouth with one hand still traipsing around the keyboard, I turned to see her with her armed with a sandwich in her right hand with her left fingers pressing onto the keys.

While many people do this and call it "multi-tasking" writers do it and call it writing. There was garbage, dirty plates and stuff all over her table. It was like a mirror image of my table. We were both sitting in the very back of the coffee shop. And you may have guessed it, she was rocking the stretchy pants too. I wonder if she wrote for an entertainment blog, vegan recipe blog or a cruddy dating blog. I bet she did.

Aside from her disheveled appearance and work space, there was this one other thing we had in common. This similarity was different in that I didn't realize that I did this thing until I was seated next to this woman.I make faces. I make condescending-eyebrows-up faces. I smile whole heartedly. My face turns to grimace. And I don't do this in any direction but the computer. She clutched her chest and put her hands up to her face smiling. Then her demeanor changed from confused to angry. From the outside, this woman was crazy. There's absolutely nothing happening. Oh, but I understand. I get you coffee shop chick. We're in our own little worlds, only looking up to glance around the coffee shop and then diving back below into the world that is writing.

So what does this have to do with dating? Everything. I've never seen a woman look so unavailable. And I didn't realize that I looked the same way. I mean, I know I want to cool my jets on dating, but is this what I want to crawl out of when I'm interested in meeting a man again? No thank you.

So thank you, coffee shop chick. Thank you for the big long look in the mirror. May your hands continue to dance the keys. May your stretchy pants never lose their form. May you finally discover that all of your buttons are just one off. May you clean up well.

Cutting Back

These last few posts have been about the plethora of men that have been throwing themselves at my feet. Okay, maybe they're not throwing themselves at my feet, but they've been texting and emailing the eff out of me.

It's been really fun doing this whole active dating thing, but it's become more than little confusing trying to keep it all straight. So, I'm going to have to make that decision to cut back on my dating life a little bit. Online dating has been a great experience, but I just took on a bigger commitment at work, and I'm studying writing and yoga extensively. With all of those time commitments, I have plenty of men blowing up my phone on a daily basis. It seems that it's time to kill the OkCupid profile for awhile.

I'm sure this has happened to many of you lady folks out there. I was hanging out with a senior software engineer this weekend who described how different it is to be a man on a free dating site. Adam claimed that on sites like OkCupid, women's inboxes get flooded with messages and most men hear back from about one girl out of every four that they send messages to. At a 25% return rate, I imagine that that could get a little disheartening.

But from a women's perspective, that means that tons of guys are trying to contact you on a regular basis. There's no way to keep up with all of it. The thing is, that most of them are really cool. I've only had one bad meet up experience from online dating. And I can't say that it was even that bad. It was just awkward. As a matter of fact, it was super awkward. We'll save that story for a later time and place when all of this dating dust has settled.

Aside from that, an opportunity has arisen for me to study yoga in Denver in March. So it really wouldn't be fair to continue to pursue men in this city when I may be moving on again in a month and a half. So, it seems that it may be time to put my dating life on pause.

No worries though, even though I'm taking a break, I still have tons of material for this sucky dating blog that I've gathered over the past few months.

Have you ever taken yourself off the market for awhile? How was it? Boring? Healthy? A good idea? A cruddy idea?f

The Five Guys You Meet Online

Dating blogs suck. They're inconsistant. They give you one nugget of advice one day and the next day they contradict it completely. If you haven't noticed, this too is a dating blog. And it's no different.

As much as I think that you shouldn't label things, especially if those things are people, for blogging's sake, I'm going to let you in on some truths when it comes to internet dating. Everyone is different, and everyone is filled with light and love and all of that. But there are generally five dudes that you'll meet online. I'm not saying that you don't meet some gems when you're online dating. Some of the guys that inspired this list are complete gems. I only reduce them to characters for two reasons. 1.) So they won't know that it's them. And 2.) because, if you're internet dating, no doubt you've come by some of these characters yourself.

The Puppy Dog

His profile is great. He's almost a perfect match for you. He seems like the perfect mix of confident and sweet when he's online. He's funny, but he's not Carrot Top. You're almost intimidated by him. But when you finally meet, this dude is terrified. It looks like he is going to pee on your carpet he's so anxious. He treats this meet up like a job interview and it sounds like he's been rehursing every question he asks you. "So, where were you formally educated?" Don't hold your breath for him to calm down. It's not going to happen. Just end the evening calmly and give him a pat on the head. He deserves it.

The Awesome Guy Who Thinks He's Too Good For You 

Most of the time this one comes out of nowhere. You're not even sure who sent who a message. You might not have been super interested in his profile, especially if you went out with the puppy dog first and figured this whole thing was a sham. But when you meet in person, he's phenomenal. Pretty much the coolest, sexiest dude ever. He seems interested in you, but not. And then he does, and then he doesn't. After a few times hanging out, you eventually realize that you're trying super hard to play it cool, and that's causing you to act kind of crazy. It looks like it's time to grab a copy of He's Just Not That Into You and get on with it.

The Pen Pal

You send tomes to each other back and forth. It seems like you have a lot in common and that you could really get along. At first, you're really jazzed. Three weeks later this dude is sending you hilarious messages three times a day but he still no asky you outy. This is weird. Stop it. Seriously, don't reply. Okay, but that was the last one.

The Undead and Unemployed

Oh yes. This guy is the best. And by the best, I mean he's ridiculous and a huge waste of your time. I'm not saying that it's a bad idea to date someone who doesn't have a job. Hey, in this economy... well you know. But this guy is beyond unemployed. He's a friggin' zombie. Seriously. He has like a blue green tinge to his skin and his eyes look so glazed over, you cant see if there are any synapsis' firing in his skull. He says something about selling things on ebay for a living before he orders "brraaaains" and tells you that he wants to split the bill 70-30. WTF? Discounted meals with the undead? He's more like the walking cliche of a bad date than anything else. So we're just going to have to put him out of his misery and send him back to the hell of online dating.

The Rebound

I have to admit before I say anything about the rebound, that I too am a rebound online dater. It seems that many of the "normal" people who are on these sites just got out of long term relationships and jumped into the online dating world. These guys have been part of a duo for so long, they usually have no single friends and no established way to meet desirable mates. I use the word mate because, let's face it, The Rebound usually just wants to bone. Even if they're not still pining over their ex or trying to figure out what went wrong (they probably are), they're not ready for anything serious. That's great for you if you're also in rebound mode, but it's probably not so good for you if you're looking to meet someone who's ready for something super romantic.

How To Beat Them Off With a Stick

Since this post is following up the last post about being popular with the fellas, this might start sounding like a cocky/whiny dating blog. Trust, ladies. It's not. But if it were, dating blogs suck, and this one is no different. I just have a tale to tell and since I'm new to this whole dating thing, I could use some help figuring out how to deal with situations such as this one.

Yesterday, I went on a date. I went on a date with a lovely man with a lovely mind. We talked for hours over a few beers and the time just flowed over us. We never encountered a dull moment. He never once gave me his software developer job description in the several hours that we hung out. I'm not saying that we're a match made in heaven, but we connected for sure. At any rate, we're having this lovely time and he's filling in some gaps in my thoughts, and giving me a new perspective on things that I already felt to be true and... well, things were going goooood (extra o's included). 

We were sitting there, chatting away, when the headlining stand up comedian from a comedy show downstairs, barges in on our conversation. He notes that we must be having a really great date since we were still there after a three hour long comedy show. He jokingly asked if he could play at our wedding and bought us a round of shots. Then he began to linger. Even though I wanted to continue talking to Tim (the dude I was kicking it with), I kinda suck at being rude to strangers and tend to love being around fellow aspiring comedians. I was also a little drunk and was beginning to see us as the blurry three amigos. 

After some time, the comedian kept hanging around, buying more shots, more drinks, and telling Tim how to go about setting up a second date. I start to notice that the comedian was trying to upstage Tim, but I figured this was just what stand up comedians do. I figured he was trying to get a couple of fans. I figured he was just networking.  He hijacked my phone and this was the conversation I found when I was on my way home:

My Phone: Your so funny.

His Phone: Thank you. Your so kind. Your date wants me to leave. He really likes you. Good luck. If it doesn't work out, drop me a line.

My phone: You definitely have to perform at my wedding.

His Phone: Of course I will. Your to kind with your words. I hope Tom does well. 

Then later...

His phone: Nice meeting you Corrine. Not sure if that's spelled right, but I try. So how did the first date go? Scale of 1 to 10. 10 best, 1 worst. 

The end.

This seemed super odd to me, but I'm not sure. Is this a weird occurrence? Or is this just the dating world? Tell me your strangest hijacked date moment and you could win a new phone that already has a text in the inbox that says "I love you." Okay, not really, but you should share your weird dating story with me anyway.