Sexual Energy

I’ve been chewing on the idea of sexual energy these past few days because my yoga teacher, Ana Forrest, has some pretty interesting insights about it that she shares with us in intensives and training. Many of us have some odd ideas regarding sex, sexuality and our private zones. Even in this "sexually liberated" time, most people (especially women) are disconnected from their sexual feelings and energy. It's interesting to see that during this period of supposed sexual freedom, that people are content with being promiscuous without ever being in touch with their sexual selves, and that there are people who completely deny this energy as some form of sin, or a feeling that they shouldn’t experience unless it’s under certain circumstances.  

Sexuality is a specific energy in our bodies. It triggers a certain release of hormones and chemical compounds throughout our system that gives us that notably tingly feeling. Everyone has the capability of feeling it a regular basis. If you’re in touch with your body, you’ll notice that energy every single day. It's as natural as rain, sunshine and dirt. The interesting thing to note is what we do with that feeling. For some people, that chemical response triggers a response that springs them into action, pushing every obstacle, or good reason why they shouldn't act on the impulse, out of the way. They'll do whatever it takes to release this energy. These folks are on one end of the spectrum, and their desire to release sexual energy can lead to rape, sex addiction, or just a string of meaningless sexual relationships.

On the other end of the sexual energy spectrum, people completely disconnect from their body and that specific energy, perhaps due to trauma or ideology. They shut it down completely, afraid of reliving abuse or being punished by a higher authority. I’m not here to argue that people shouldn’t feel that way. I just think that it would be interesting to explore how sexual energy can be used in a more productive way.  

While sexual energy has a lot of stigma attached to it, it can be one of those magnificent, powerful, energetic forces in your body that can be transformed into healing energy, strength or stamina. Even if you’re uncomfortable with having sexy-time feelings, it’s interesting to explore them when they occur. Don’t think about the person, fantasy, or circumstance that gave you those feelings. Just feel them.

Next... Experiment. See if you can breathe into the source of the feelings. Use the breath to move them into a spot of physical pain, or just move it around the body and see how that makes you feel. Sexual energy is the most infamous aspect of the first chakra, but creativity, a sense of being grounded and courage are associated with this chakra as well. See if you can shift this energy to one of those intentions. Perhaps the next time you see a sexy police officer and start feeling randy, and you either can’t face the feeling, or can’t find a partner, you can experiment with being more brave.

Have you ever experimented with using your sexual energy in a different way?

Simply Single, Finally Free

Isn't it funny that when you finally, fully pull yourself out of your last relationship, when you finally get some real closure, that's when dudes seem to come out of the woodwork and things seem to start rolling your way. It begins to feel as if there are men absolutely everywhere and every single one of them is your type. In this phase, it's easy to get yourself into odd situations and weird places. After you nurse your way back to normal, you can rebound, pick up some lovers, or dabble in the ever popular post-break up whorefest. But who wants to jump out of a complicated break up to jump into a complicated single life?

A few months ago, I gave up online dating because I was too awkward and I had a hard time feeling comfortable around men. There were a bunch of them in my life and I wasn't interested in a single one of them. So, I called it all quitskis. I didn't realize until I finally got closure that I didn't have it that entire time. That's the funny thing about closure. For weeks or months, you convince yourself that you're over something, and you don't realize until you're actually over it that all of that was just faking it until you could finally make it.

Well, as soon as I got into Denver, it was if a light switched on and that whole part of my life started firing up again. I started noticing attractive dudes as they passed by. I was more inclined to talk to good looking strangers. I started giving fellas the eyes (both of them). I was acting like... well, I was acting like a single chick. I guess when I was holding on to that last shred of hope that my ex and I could work it out a few years from now, I was still in it. Even though I was hanging on by a thread, I was still hanging on, and I wasn’t as open to the world around me.

I felt like I was forcing everything back then, but the most beautiful thing about really being free, being fully single, is that everything just seems easier. Everything seems simple. I may not be making my way to picking up a bunch of lovers, or getting a VIP pass to Whorefest 2012, but I’m making my way out into the world ready to be okay with being single. So that’s the place I’m at right now: simply single, finally free and ready to see what comes my way.