Simply Single, Finally Free

Isn't it funny that when you finally, fully pull yourself out of your last relationship, when you finally get some real closure, that's when dudes seem to come out of the woodwork and things seem to start rolling your way. It begins to feel as if there are men absolutely everywhere and every single one of them is your type. In this phase, it's easy to get yourself into odd situations and weird places. After you nurse your way back to normal, you can rebound, pick up some lovers, or dabble in the ever popular post-break up whorefest. But who wants to jump out of a complicated break up to jump into a complicated single life?

A few months ago, I gave up online dating because I was too awkward and I had a hard time feeling comfortable around men. There were a bunch of them in my life and I wasn't interested in a single one of them. So, I called it all quitskis. I didn't realize until I finally got closure that I didn't have it that entire time. That's the funny thing about closure. For weeks or months, you convince yourself that you're over something, and you don't realize until you're actually over it that all of that was just faking it until you could finally make it.

Well, as soon as I got into Denver, it was if a light switched on and that whole part of my life started firing up again. I started noticing attractive dudes as they passed by. I was more inclined to talk to good looking strangers. I started giving fellas the eyes (both of them). I was acting like... well, I was acting like a single chick. I guess when I was holding on to that last shred of hope that my ex and I could work it out a few years from now, I was still in it. Even though I was hanging on by a thread, I was still hanging on, and I wasn’t as open to the world around me.

I felt like I was forcing everything back then, but the most beautiful thing about really being free, being fully single, is that everything just seems easier. Everything seems simple. I may not be making my way to picking up a bunch of lovers, or getting a VIP pass to Whorefest 2012, but I’m making my way out into the world ready to be okay with being single. So that’s the place I’m at right now: simply single, finally free and ready to see what comes my way.