I sat on the couch across from him and looked at him fondly. We had only been talking an hour, but there was something about this man that I could see myself falling for. Sometimes I can't put my finger on what draws me to a man so quickly, and I've always chalked it up to my affectionate and loving nature. I naturally see the beautiful parts in people. That makes it easy for me to fall in love. It also makes it easy to fall into the arms of the wrong person, because I'm too busy looking past any faults into the shining parts.
But not with this one. It wasn't a mystery. I could put all sorts of fingers on what draws me to this man.
When he walked in the door, I thought that he looked a lot younger than when I met him as he checked me out (literally) at the grocery store. I just hoped he wasn't one of the high school seniors that works part time at Whole Foods. I thought about how plausible this was. I knew virtually nothing about this man before I gave him my phone number.
It was kind of serendipitous. He was filling in for a cashier that afternoon so they could take a break. I was buying hella groceries for my roommate and I, so we had a ton of time to talk while he scanned our weekly supply of avocados. I dug his energy and did something that I don't often do. I just went for it.
So there I was. We were hanging out and I was shocked at how easy it was to "put my finger on it" when it came to this dude.
I'm a sucker for boyish charm and an adventurous spirit. He's flying off to central America to do some traveling by himself. Holy dang! I did that a few months ago. Finger. I dig a good smile and a lovely laugh. Finger. I kill for travel and outdoorsy stories. He's got tons. Finger. I'm into intelligence and creativity. Dude listens to Radiolab, is into astronomy and physics, is completing his MBA this year and... wait for it... he's an artist. Finger. Finger. Finger. Finger. Oh, and did I mention that he cooks? Oh. em. gee.
As you can see, there were a ton of finger on it wins on our first date/hang out. We clicked so much it was almost audible.
So, how did I handle the finale of the night?
We hugged goodbye, and I walked downstairs to let him out. He stood in the doorway staring at me, talking about hanging out again. I stood there wondering if he was going to make a move. I wouldn't deflect it. I mean I put all sorts of fingers on why I'd be totally okay with that going down on our first time hanging out. Then I started wondering if it would lead to some sexin, or if would be awkward, or what any of it would mean when I packed up and moved on. Then I realized how cold I was standing down there. For some reason, he didn't go for it. We said goodnight.
I didn't realize how much I was overthinking it all until the door closed behind him. I looked down and realized that my arms had been crossed over my chest the entire time. It wasn't because I was sending him no no signals, I was cold and I wasn't thinking so much that I wasn't even there. As soon as I realized it, I let my arms fall to my side and waved them around as I huffed my way upstairs.
When I look back at the way things went down, I see now that it really wasn't the time. I was in the middle of my yoga teacher training and had barely had the energy to sleep. I had gone through a lot of my own issues in a short amount of time and was still trying to figure myself out. Perhaps my body knew something my mind wasn't willing to admit. Maybe I really wasn't ready for that just yet.
Has your body ever played tricks on you in a dating scenario?
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