Post Breakup Contact

This post is about post-break up contact and how unnecessary it is. If you've just gone through a break up, and you and your ex have tried and failed at being friends, it's time to leave your ex-sig-o (ex-significant-other?) alone. There's no reason to try again and again to reach out to the other person. This is foolish repetitive behavior and it's hurtful to the other person and to yourself.

It was only a few weeks ago when we realized that we shouldn't talk to each other. We know that we can't be friends. He's in a relationship. The last time we were in contact, he cursed me up and down, told me I would die alone, and ruined any chance we had at being chummy. So why is he contacting me?

Face value, he's sending me an email just because he wants to talk to me about some new bands he's into. They'll be playing at the festival I bought tickets for before I knew he was going. Of course he would go. He knew I would be there. His ego would be too huge not to make me see them together. Why wouldn't he rub my face in it? 

At any rate, an email about bands? Puh-lease. This is pathetic. He just wanted an innocent way to get a hold of me, so that he could write it off and say, "I was just talking to you about Spotify and how awesome it is." That way, no one could get mad at him. His new girlfriend really couldn't fault him. I surely couldn't claim that he had ulterior motives. He wouldn't have to get mad at himself for reaching out. 

So I guess this post is also about what to do when an ex contacts you, not so out of the blue, after you've agreed not to speak to each other. 

If this is the first time this is happening, be nice, but firm. Just tell him you're not interested in having any communication and leave it at that. Wish him well and be on your way. Hopefully, he can take a hint that you're ready to move on.

However, if you're in the same boat that I am and you've been down this road several times before, maybe it's time to get a little firmer. Like, Abs of Steel firm. Like, The Firm, firm. Like, tell him off, firm. Is it okay that he sends you into a tailspin every few weeks when he has a random thought he'd like to share? No. Is it okay that he took your previous forgiveness as a sign that you were a doormat? Nay. Is it alright that the Kardashians are breeding? Absolutely not. Alas, all of those things are happening, and the only way to avoid being a nurse midwife to the Klohe of your broken heart (too much of a leap?) is to tell him to stuff it. 

Just make sure that you're closing the door while you tell him all of the ways that he should dissapear. You don't want this to turn into an argument. Make sure you include the phrase "there is no reason for you to respond to this email" several times. You can also throw in a "please just forget that I ever existed" for good measure. 

What do you do when your ex contacts you?